Thursday, February 22, 2007

Please don't bury me down in that cold, cold ground

Two solutions to the Anna Nicole Smith "problem":
  • Cremate her and put us out of our entire misery. Spread her ashes all over the damned Earth for all I care, just stop making this such a big freakin deal.

  • Chop her into pieces and bury them in different locations. Heart/torso in the Bahamas; head in Houston; and ass/legs in LA near Marilyn Monroe. Hell you can even freeze her boobs next to Ted Williams head in Arizona, if you're so inclined.

Interesting people die everyday, none of them get this much exposure in the news - and that is a damned shame.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?

An excerpt from this article:

"It's snow. We get a lot of it. So what?" said Allan Babcock, a lifelong resident who owns a popular diner in this village of 650 people located about 38 miles northeast of Syracuse.

Roads were mostly cleared Sunday as workers turned their attention to removing the snow and trimming down 10- and 12-foot-high snow banks.

The intense blast of snow hasn't been blamed for any deaths in Oswego County. Elsewhere, however, more than a week of bitter cold and slippery roads have contributed to at least 25 deaths across the northeastern quarter of the nation — five in Ohio, four in Illinois, four in Indiana, two in Kentucky, seven in Michigan, and one each in Wisconsin, and Maryland and elsewhere in New York, authorities said.

So many people complain, or shiver at the thought of all that cold weather and snow, yet only 25 people have died and while that is tragic, it’s such a relatively small number when compared to say, a hurricane. Particularly, a hurricane that people were told could be the one that sinks their city.

You see, when natural disasters occur in the north, such as massive amounts of snow, people do what they’re told – stay inside and only drive on the roads if it’s an emergency. Northerners know that going outside, and specifically driving, is seriously putting your life at risk. 115 inches of snow have fallen in Central New York and not one person has died because of it. 36 hours in advance of a hurricane people were told to get out. They didn’t and a couple thousand people – and an entire city - died.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I used to ride my big wheel, and sell lemonade, eat popcorn with grandpa while we watched the parade

I remember when the worst thing I worried about walking home from school was getting hit with a snowball in the back (of the head!).

People are out of control!